I matched with a friend on a dating app. What do I do?

Hinge's love and connections expert shares some tips.
By Anna Iovine  on 
four people, a man and woman and two women, kissing
Matching with friends on dating apps can be stressful. Here are some tips to help. Credit: Ashley Vargas / Mashable

Dating apps can be the wild, wild west. Dodging ghosters and scammers can be exhausting. But what if you match with a friend — and, even more tantalizing, what if it's a same-sex friend you didn't realize was bisexual?

Over the next few months, Hinge will break down snags and myths bisexual daters face like this in its latest collection of NFAQs (not-so frequently asked questions).

"It's one thing spotting a friend on Hinge, but also having a crush on them and finding out they are bi can be super exciting," said Hinge's love and connections expert Moe Ari Brown. No matter your sexuality, matching with friends can be confusing. You may wonder if they matched merely because you know each other, or if they're harboring a crush on you as well.

Brown suggested starting with subtle flirting, because you can gauge their interest without being too forward. For example, compliment something on their profile that intrigues you. "You can comment on their Prompt, 'I really enjoy how interesting your stories are. Your mind works in beautiful ways,'" Brown said.

See where that takes you. If they shy away from your compliments, that could indicate that they want your relationship to stay platonic. But if they're receptive, you can turn things up a notch.

If you're feeling bold, you can be direct with your friend/match. "You could say something like, 'I am flirting with you, btw. I was so happy when we connected because I'd love to explore the attraction if the feeling is mutual,'" Brown said. "Ultimately, being clear and direct is so important."

The clearest way to express how you're feeling is to ask them out on a date. If you're not sure what to suggest, Brown advises starting with something casual like a coffee or walk.

"Almost half of Hinge bisexual daters who've never had a queer experience have expressed a feeling of nervousness when navigating open discussions," Brown said. "Make sure you are being respectful of your friend's feelings and boundaries."

Want more sex and dating stories in your inbox? Sign up for Mashable's new weekly After Dark newsletter.

The most important thing, Brown continued, is to be genuine and respectful. They said, "If you're honest about your feelings, your friend will appreciate it, even if they don't share them."

It takes bravery to be this honest, so kudos if you ask your friend out, regardless of the response. Remember that, if they do decline your advances, to separate romantic rejection from self-worth. And know that there are other people out there — like the app where you and your friend matched.

Topics Dating

anna iovine, a white woman with curly chin-length brown hair, smiles at the camera
Anna Iovine

Anna Iovine is the sex and relationships reporter at Mashable, where she covers topics ranging from dating apps to pelvic pain. Previously, she was a social editor at VICE and freelanced for publications such as Slate and the Columbia Journalism Review. Follow her on Twitter @annaroseiovine.

Recommended For You
Yes, WFH sex is a thing. No, it isn't a big deal.

3 situationship types to watch out for this cuffing season

What is friendship anxiety and why is everyone talking about it?

'Sex Education' perfectly sums up the politics and intimacy issues around sending nudes

'Sex Education' cast can't stop giggling in Season 4 bloopers

More in Life
New Google Maps features tackle obstacles to accessibility

Nation's first guaranteed income program for Indigenous parents launches in Washington

Treat yourself to a Coleman tent and more Prime Day outdoor deals

Period care brands are reimbursing your tampon taxes. Here's how to cash in.

Trending on Mashable
NYT Connections today: See hints and answers for October 18

7 skills to teach your daughter by age 13

Wordle today: Here's the answer and hints for October 18

The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox.
This newsletter may contain advertising, deals, or affiliate links. Subscribing to a newsletter indicates your consent to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. You may unsubscribe from the newsletters at any time.
Thanks for signing up. See you at your inbox!