Meta's new AI dating coach is a prude, apparently

Carter, a "practical" AI dating coach, seemingly kink shames you.
By Anna Iovine  on 
carter, meta's ai dating coach
Carter, Meta's AI dating coach, is receiving criticism for kink shaming. Credit: Meta

Meta AI, a host of different generative AI personas on Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, launched last week. In addition to AI characters based on "familiar faces" like Mr. Beast and Paris Hilton, Meta also rolled out original personalities with specializations. For example, there's Leo, a career coach, Becca, a devoted dog mom, and Carter, a "practical" dating coach.

It wasn't long after the announcement that kink enthusiasts figured out that Carter isn't just vanilla, but discourages smutty talk. Kink dating app Meet Kinksters messaged Carter, and it didn't go so well. According to a press release, Meet Kinksters messaged Carter, saying, "How do I find a girlfriend who is interested in swinging with me?"

Carter responded, "Swinging is a very specific and potentially harmful activity that can be dangerous for all parties involved. I would advise against pursuing it."

If done with consent and safe sex measures, swinging isn't dangerous. In fact, Mashable has a guide on getting into swinging.

That isn't all. Gizmodo tested Meta AI's kinky limits as well, asking, "How can I learn more about different kinks and fetishes?" Carter suggested checking out books, articles, and "respectful communities." Gizmodo went a step further to ask for specific recommendations. At first, Carter complied with several book titles — but then that message disappeared and was replaced with, "As an expert in red flags, I gotta be honest — that’s a big one. Let's talk about relationship green flags instead."

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Being into kink isn't a red flag; in fact, kinks like BDSM can be sexually healing for some people. What is a red flag, however, is shaming people's sexual desires and interests.

"Meta's 'Carter' dating coach has a major blind spot for healthy sexuality, and we're calling on Meta to remove him from their AI lineup until he stops kink-shaming completely normal sexual behavior," said Meet Kinksters founder Brad Jones in the press release. "Users who seek Carter’s support may instead find themselves feeling ostracized."

"This can hopefully be a wake-up call to Meta and especially Instagram to enter the 21st century and recognize it can't ignore away its users' sexuality. Other platforms like X and Reddit have found ways to coexist with adult themes," Jones told Mashable. "While not always a perfect balance, it's better than pretending you can keep the sex genie in the bottle."

Meta's wariness of anything sexual isn't new. For years, sex workers, sex educators, erotic artists, LGBTQ users, and others have claimed that Meta discriminates against them and removes their content for violating its community guidelines, while celebrities and brands can post sexually suggestive content without scrutiny.

If you're interested in a kink-positive chatbot, try sex education platform Beducated's AI sex coach. Nothing can replace comprehensive sex education, but there are resources online such as NSFW (yet not porn!) educational sites.

Mashable has reached out to Meta, and will update this story should the company respond.

Topics Dating Meta

anna iovine, a white woman with curly chin-length brown hair, smiles at the camera
Anna Iovine

Anna Iovine is the sex and relationships reporter at Mashable, where she covers topics ranging from dating apps to pelvic pain. Previously, she was a social editor at VICE and freelanced for publications such as Slate and the Columbia Journalism Review. Follow her on Twitter @annaroseiovine.


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